From the first section of “Too Loud for Fear to Leave Us” by oddmadland:
A fear of missing out.
a negative anticipation of a negative future.
The pangs of what you are and what you are doing.
a negative present actuality.
he was going to do everything.
a positive anticipation of a positive future.
with every choice made to do something, there was an equal and opposite choice not to do something else.
alternative presents, both positive, leading to alternative futures, one positive, the other negative, as a repetitive abstraction.
Participating, participating, participating. Homelessly riding the scene.
positive present actuality, continuously.
Making exciting plans, only to break them for the last minute thrill of being in more than one place at once:.. of having done it, and having not done it.
positive anticipation of a positive future; negative actuality of a positive future; positive actuality of alternative futures, one positive, the other negative, made simultaneously present.
What he was missing became a presence, always there outside of what was happening.
positive actuality of negative present = negative actuality of positive present, as a constant abstraction.
Only when you’re truly nowhere can you be assumed to be everywhere. This was his last epiphany.
negative actuality = positive actuality, as a probabilistic abstraction.